


Yes, High king

by Slant



Series: Yes, High king [1]
Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Yes Minister
Genre: Flawless victory, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-19
Updated: 2013-09-19
Packaged: 2017-12-27 01:43:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/972830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slant/pseuds/Slant





	Yes, High king

SHORTLY AFTER THE CORONATION, Peter was approached by a vigorous tree-spirit in his late middle age, accompanied by a Dog.  
"Good day High King, I am Sir Humphrey Appletree, I have the good fortune to be the the highest ranking undersecretary of Queen Swanwhite's civil service to survive the winter. I thought it it behooved me to once more offer my poor services to the crown."  
"Erm, so who was Swanwhite? not the Witch, right?"  
"Indeed no High king, Queen Swanwhite was the last surviving descendent of Frank and Helen, cruelly murdered one hundred years ago. It seems only fitting that her surviving appointments should continue their work."  
"Yes quite fitting, so what does your appointment do exactly?"  
"Well, its really tremendously simple. The permanent secretary for the department answers to you, the under secretaries answer to the permanent secretary, your private secretary organises your diary."  
"The secretary types, and the tea lady makes the tea," added the Dog.  
"I'm not really sure I follow"  
"If I might try Sir Humphrey? I think what the High King wants to know is that we help organise things."  
"What sort of things?"  
"Well, taking in one thing and another, what with the recent climatic altercations, and of course, this was under the previous administration."  
"Yes, go on."  
"The ice trade, mostly. Calomere is a desert, but they have irrigation and agriculture, we have, or rather had, snow, ice and meltwater, and a two-day growing season. We sold them ice, they sold us food. Surely you've noticed High King, that or people are fed despite a century of inclement weather."  
"And you did all this right under the Witch's nose? She never suspected?"  
"She may have had her suspicions, but she never managed to stop us."  
"That's wonderful! Please consider your appointment confirmed. You're just the right sort."  
"Thank you High King. If there is nothing immediate, Bernard and I will go and ensure that the civil service aligns with your personal vision."  
"Yes, that will be all."

"You didn't tell him the reason that Queen Jadis never stopped us."  
"No Bernard, I thought it impolitic to share that with the High King."  
"You didn't want him to know that it was her idea? or that she appointed you to be a permanent secretary?"  
"He received appropriate information regarding the decision that he had to take."

...

"Now High King, about your policy ending primary education for dwarfs and satyrs, we've done our best, but it really does not seem to be workable. The knock-on effects are really quite unconscionable."  
"Humphrey stop being a wet blanket and calling it primary education. They are schools and they must be ended. Those are places where young people are taught cruelty and vice."  
"But High King..."  
"Not another word. I want it ended." and with that, the High King swept out of the office.  
"He really is very set on this. Maybe we should, you know..."  
"I do not "know", Bernard"  
"Well, do it, I mean, he is Aslan's representative in Narnia."  
"But Bernard, what would happen if Aslan's representatives get what they wanted? This one wants to keep the dwarfs ignorant, the last one wanted this one dead, the one before that wanted a better mirror. No one would ever get anything done."  
"Better not mention that to him though. Jadis I mean, he might get inquisitive. And he's certainly very impetuous. "  
"That's really very clever Bernard. I'm impressed with you."  
"Thank you Sir Humphrey. Err, what did I think of?"

...

"So you seen High King, we've had trouble implementing some of your more courageous policies, and I've been forced to turn some of the enforcement over to the police."  
"Jolly good! The Police will soon get the thing done."  
"Well, that's the problem you see, it turns out that the chief of police is, well, how do I put this delicately..."  
"Oh jolly well buck up and say it Humphrey"  
"It was Maugrim. You killed him, High king."  
"He was a traitor and an enemy of Narnia."  
"The man was a civil servant, carrying out government policy," Humphrey spoke with more energy than normal, a tinge of outrage colouring his normally smooth words. "You can't possibly be suggesting that civil servants should pick and choose which policies they care to implement based on personal _whim_."  
"He was trying to kill my sister!"  
"Carrying out government policy with zeal, then."  
"Really Humphrey, I've put up with a lot from you because of the work you did making sure everyone had food during the witch's winter, but that really is too much. I won't have it."  
"Am I to understand High King, that the civil service is not to carry out policy if it is deemed unconscionable."  
"Plain language Humphrey."  
"That we shouldn't do things that we think are wrong."  
"Of course not, Aslan gave you a conscience didn't he?"  
There was, perhaps, the briefest of pauses while Sir Humphrey digested this statement by his political master.  
"Thank you High King, I will follow out your instructions precisely."  
"Err.... jolly good."

"It feels very strange Bernard. I thought that there'd be angels."  
"When Sir Humphrey?"  
"When we won."  
"We won?"  
"Well, yes, we no longer have to carry out government policy that we think is wrong."  
"We never did anyway."  
"That's quite different Bernard, that was an unfortunate juxtapositioning of difficult policy elements and an impossible time table leading to a regretable delay in the implimentation of certain low-priority targets. In the future it might have been necessary to pursue these policy objectives. Now, however, our non-action is enshrined in government policy."

**Works inspired by this one:**

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